"You know we live in a society!" - George Costanza

Rantings and ravings of one angry human being

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Turning our daughters into whores

I don't even have a daughter and this pisses me off.

Gripe #1: Bratz dolls. Why not call them Slutz? That's what they are. I've seen more tastefully dressed women in strip clubs. Whatever happened to the classy dolls like Barbie? Remember the fancy gowns and dresses they came with? Now it's mini skirts and tube tops.

Gripe #2: Pants with words on the ass. Really? This is fashion?? No one sees a problem with a 12 year old girl with the word HOT across the back of her pants?? Why does it have to go on the ass? There is no other reason besides drawing attention to something that does not need attention drawn to it. And we wonder why kids are having sex in middle school. They don't stand a chance. The shit is shoved in their face all day every day.

Gripe #3: MTV. There is so much wrong with this channel I don't know where to begin. First of all how long can you continue to call yourself Music Television when there is no music involved. Secondly, the shows on MTV promote such a horrible message. The worst of all is My Super Sweet 16. These snotty little skanks get insanely expensive parties thrown for them and then bitch the whole time about how everything is being ruined because the parents won't spend ALL of their money. Their reality dating shows are no better though. First off it's so obvious that they are scripted. Watch Parental Control one time and tell me you disagree. Maybe it's just me but most people don't speak in sexual innuendos and one liners. I hate MTV!

Gripe #4: Britney Spears. Why won't she go away?? I don't want to completely single her out because she's not the only culprit here. People like Jessica Simpson let the girls of this country know that it's okay to be a complete moron as long as you are pretty and Paris Hilton proved that you can become famous by getting nailed on tape. But Britney is on an entirely different level. And this goes back to MTV because they made her. Mix 1 part sexual exploitation with 2 parts shitty parenting and you get Britney Spears. I think the entire family should be rounded up and shot into space. I pity the daughters though. Their parents fucked Britney's life up so bad what chance did her little sister stand? I'm surprised it took her this long to get knocked up.

I usually like to make my posts more humorous but there's nothing funny about the messages being sent to the young women in this country. Ok the Spears family saga is sorta funny sometimes. It's not like I'm some conservative church goer. I have nothing against sex, violence or vulgar language but children are being robbed of their childhood. They go from toddler directly to teenager. And it's far worse for girls.

Bitchin about gas prices

First off I am so sick of this topic. I can't go through a single day with out someone bringing up the price of gas. Unless we are all going to get together as a nation and stop driving then shut the hell up. The other day though I met a man who wins my award for "Douche of the Week". This guy stayed at the hotel in which I work. He came to the desk to check out in the morning and starts bitching about the price of gas. I was about to respond to him when I looked outside and saw what he was driving. A friggin Hummer. Sorry asshole but if you are going to buy a big SUV(superbly useless vehicle) then your right to bitch about gas prices is revoked. Here is a fact(by fact I mean I made it up): If every Hummer switched to a hybrid there would be a lot less assholes in the world. This jerk off is like Hitler saying there aren't enough Jews in the world. Some good news about Hummers. GM is working on an alternative fuel source for these vehicles. By 2011 every Hummer will run on a mixture of gasoline and their owner's need for attention.

I'd also like to let everyone out there know that a gas station attendant making minimum wage does not decide how much we pay for gas. I worked at a gas station for awhile and people acted like my last name was Exxon. It's not like I was walking up to people's cars in an Armani suit, Rolex and some platinum rings, laughing hysterically as I watched myself get richer with every gallon I pumped.

And another thing! Here's a message to all states/cities that have laws against self serve gas stations. PISS OFF! This lady from Jersey came to my hotel and was telling me how she lost her gas cap because when she got to PA she had to pump her own gas and wasn't used to it. She then said that she thought it was great to have full service because it creates job. First off all there is nothing to get used to when it comes to pumping gas. You take the gas cap off then put it back on when you are done. If she had to put windshield washer fluid in her car would she open the hood, pour it in then drive around all day with the hood still up? Second of all being a gas pumper is one of the worst jobs. People treat you like shit. Old ladies pull up and want you to check their tire pressure, check their oil, rebuild their engines. Then they hand you 30 fucking cents and tell you to get a soda pop. OK LADY. Lemme hop in my time machine and travel back to 1950 so I can get me a soda pop. And as far as it creating jobs BIG DEAL. There are lots of jobs out there. Do you know why people are unemployed? Because they are LAZY! I have seen this at every job I've had. It's nearly impossible to find competent employees no matter how simple the position. Ok I'm ending this because I'm getting more pissed and completely off topic.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Is it hot/cold enough for you?

We've all been asked this. I live in southwestern PA so we get both extremes. It can drop well below zero in the winter and with the summer humidity and can reach somewhere around 4 million degrees.

Here are some common scenarios:

I'm standing outside shivering, ears red from wind burn, teeth chattering.

Some asshole, "Hey is it cold enough for you?"

"No, as a matter of fact Mr. Asshole it's not cold enough. I prefer it to be so cold that my lips freeze together so I CAN'T ANSWER QUESTIONS LIKE THAT!"

I'm walking down the street, covered in sweat, struggling to breath through the hot and humid air.

Some douche bag, "Hot enough for you?"

"Glad you asked. No, it's not. I like it to be so hot that my eyeballs liquefy and run down my face. I would prefer to have swamp ass so bad that gators migrate from Florida to live in my boxers. It would be GREAT if the second I stepped outside my hair immediately ignited so that I would have something else to think about besides your idiotic question. That's when it will be hot enough for ME!"

Professional Lottery Players

If you have worked at or spent any amount of time in a gas station or convenience store you know who I am talking about. There are two main kinds of PLPs.

1.) Daily/Weekly Drawings - Powerball, Mega Millions, whatever you have in your state. Even the crappy daily number that pays like $4. These people come in with about 50 different sets of numbers, most of them don't even have them written down, and take up the lottery machine for 45 minutes. They play the birthdays of every family member, anniversaries, high school locker numbers, numbers they dreamt 20 years ago and have been playing ever since, numbers they see on car license plates, and then the numbers that "feel lucky" that week. I want to play $1 on the friggin Powerball hoping that I can win and quit my shitty job and move out of my tiny house and these assholes spend my monthly mortgage payment on lottery tickets.

2.) Instant/Scratch Tickets - As bad as group 1 is group 2 is 10 times worse. They come in, buy $50 worth of tickets, scratch them off in the store, then buy more with the money they won on the first set. I worked at a gas station once we only sold instant tickets so I got alot of these people. The worst was this lady who would seriously spend $100-$200 on tickets at a time. She would be in the store for a couple of hours sometimes and at the end she had spent all the money she had won and all you could see was a head sticking out of a pile of that ticket scratch off shit.

Sad thing is these people are always bitching about money.

I also work with a guy that is a lottery nut. I made the mistake of telling him I was running to the convenience store next door one time and asked if he needed anything. He pulled out a list of numbers for me to play. 45 minutes later when I got back he told me what ever number meant. He also had numerous stories about playing the lottery and even remembers numbers he played in 1979. All I wanted to do was go home because my shift was done.